the problem, as i see it
“I lied. I’m not out of this relationship. I’m in. I’m so in, it’s humiliating because here I am begging. Ok here it is: Your choice, it’s simple: her or me. And I’m sure she’s really great… But Derek, I love you. In a really really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheese cake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.”
-Meredith Grey (via)
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It may be due to the fact that I watched He’s Just Not That Into You last night (which has an awful ending), it may be that I’m not a Grey’s Anatomy fan, it may simply be that I don’t have someone to love or to love me, but this quote makes me really angry.
Since when did we get to a place where the girl has to convince the guy of her love? If he doesn’t see it, isn’t that his loss? Why do I have to spend my time pointing out how amazing I am, how good I would treat you, how you can’t live without me? I’m sorry that you’re blind, I really am. It makes my life a bit frustrating and it leaves your life lacking. I just don’t understand what happened that made it my job to try to a) fix and b) make up for your stupidity.
I am not some girl that will sit here and plead with you to be with me. Girls have been taught that valuing ourselves is stuck up and arrogant and bitchy. In reality, it is just wanting you, the boy, to value me, too. Asking to be a priority isn’t demanding; if you really care about me, I should already be one. Asking for a commitment isn’t putting you on a leash; if you like me that much, other girls shouldn’t faze you. Asking for your affection isn’t clingy; if you are as captivated by me as you say you are, I will be the one having to fight you off.
The truth is - if you really like me, I shouldn’t have to prove myself to you. I shouldn’t have to spend my days trying to open your eyes.
The truth is - if you really like me, you will be the one proving yourself to me and trying to open my eyes.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Can we please get this through our heads?
Sometimes I get so angry at how we’re raising up an entire generation, an entire world, of little girls and teenagers and young adults and even grown women that believe it’s their job to get the man to like them and that it’s their fault when he doesn’t.
This is why we have girls that are cutting and starving and crying and dying (both figuratively and literally). They believe that they are not good enough, as they are. In order to be worthy, I have to do something else or be someone else. Who I am right now is not okay.
It starts when they are young with absent fathers and continues with inattentive boyfriends and ends with cheating husbands.
It makes me sick, but it is exactly why I’m going to school. This is my passion.
